So, the short story version of this is - that my brother has been dealing with a cancer diagnosis since last July… I drove him back to Houston for a scheduled visit - and found that we weren’t able to return for over three weeks.

Through I arranged for many ‘versions’ of life (from skilled nursing facility, to 24/7 care in home) the status of his diagnosis and the resulting treatments required a constant re-invention of plans… Nothing worked out until he was transported back to Austin and we found a facility that could address all his needs - close to family.

Once he was settled, in hospice… and the dust once again began to settle - Coronavirus kicked up a notch… and we weren’t allowed to visit him in the facility. Until the very end - which was last Friday night. Although I know in my heart that he wouldn’t have wanted this to be prolonged… the idea that he was actually really gone has been slowly seeping in over the past few days.

This is all so out of my area of expertise… dealing with a serious illness, caring for a family member, administrative red tape, ineffective home caregivers, and wanting to be able to make the right decisions with very little sleep… I’m sure the trip home was what I should’ve arranged from the start. Heartfelt thanks to a girlfriend who searched out facilities and took my folks for tours… I seriously don’t think I could’ve done this.

Tim is my only brother - and I honestly am grateful to have been able to say ‘I’m here’ all those times in the past month that he called out for me… what a shame we weren’t closer during the past few decades… how different life might’ve been for us both.

Today was my first day back at the torch, and I didn’t venture far from my comfort zone… give me a week and I promise I’ll be back full strength… and thanks for listening… hugs, Jill